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Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Prayer is All I Have Left

 My sister is not doing well, she has been moved to the ICU and I fear the worst and pray for a miracle.  She was given remdisivir (I am sure all my spellings are not right), steroids and antibiotics, but no plasma antibodies, which I think are the saving drug.  We have seen hydroxychloroquine work in my husband's clinic, but the doctors she saw would not use it.  All I have left is faith, and the test is real.

Friday, October 16, 2020

What If You Left Facebook and Nobody Noticed?

 Ah, Facebook, a sad tale involving humans wanting to interact, wanting to be noticed, wanting some friends, but it becomes a dark dismal place full of anger and black thoughts.  I deactivated yesterday and I am sure not one of my 1800 "friends" will even notice.  I had been staying on, thinking I needed to give an alternate point of view to the many extreme left wing views that were being posted.  As I have said,  I am especially upset by the defund the police movement.  I think I held my ground, but recently I posted what I thought was a simple defense of Judge Barrett.  I simply said that I thought she had been mischaracterized by the press, and that she has repeatedly said she did not believe the court should be a legislative body.  I was trying to point out that they shouldn't worry that this one single person would completely change the law of the land.  I was not mean, no namecalling, no recriminations, really nothing controversial, just that simple fact.  My own sister practically disowned me for this comment, so I need to leave this place where I am truly unwelcome.  I will never understand why having a difference of opinion about a public servant could cause so much animus.  I forced myself to apologize, when I think I had nothing to apologize for, but thought family was more important.  Truth be told, I don't think my own sister believes that, but I guess it is up to me to keep the peace.  Sad times.

Well, about one minute after I wrote the above, I got a message that another of my many sisters has covid.  She is diabetic, so very concerning.  Her doctor is treating her with the right medicines and has told her to get to the hospital immediately if she has trouble breathing and she will be treated with the medicines my husband would use--at least I know she has a good physician.  I have been brought abruptly to be reminded about what really matters, and what really does not.  I am sure I haven't had the last of petty arguments, but am chastened for the time being.

This makes my heart heavy and it is difficult to think about my job, I just keep my head down and keep going.  I think I've created some beautiful things here in the darkness.